Wow...

I called M this afternoon (I tried yesterday and last night and got no answer). Today she answered. She is not coming to meet with me next Sunday. Something to do with baking...she forgot...something.... But, my ability to listen ended after she said, "I'm not coming."

Instead, I heard:
- You're not good enough
- I'm putting myself first
- I'd rather bake than spend time with you
- I can't even spare an hour for you
- You left me, so now I'm leaving you
- We've basically spent 30 years apart, let's keep that going
- You're not worthy
- I don't care about you
- I don't love you

...and numerous other things.

It was all I could do to hold it together. She started to talk about my sister, the weather and decorations, but I cut her off and said I needed to go.

I have no words.

My heart...it just hurts.

(Note: to the folks following my blog...thanks for your comments and questions - I appreciate them.)